What are the Sunday Scaries Telling Us?

"What we resist, persists." - Carl Jung

I savor the sweetness of Sundays; it's always been my favorite day. I take a step back, consider what’s needed to set up a smooth week, and ease off the pressure of continuous output. However, here and there, as the day winds down, a familiar sensation arises. You know that persistent feeling in your gut that resembles mild dread or full-blown anxiety. This part is never planned. Friends, I’m referring to the Sunday Scaries.

Many of us are familiar with this phenomenon. And for those of us who aren't, let me get you up to speed.

"Sunday Scaries" refers to the general feeling of dread or anxiety about the approaching work week. According to a LinkedIn survey, 80% of U.S. workers experience Sunday Scaries. 80% y'all!!?? Blew my mind.

Could this widespread affliction be a signal?

As someone who often experiences them, I knew I had to address it. I've developed a keen interest in the mind-body connection; grief led me here. Your body often knows what your mind hasn't caught up with yet. It's part of our evolutionary process. Our nervous systems perceives a threat, and it's our job to eliminate it. But instead of acknowledging this anticipatory anxiety, we've become accustomed to ignoring it.

Let me tell you this: I've come to realize, I'm a girlie who naturally goes against the grain. I don't usually fancy what's trendy or popular. Hustle culture has NEVER appealed to me, and I never stood in line to be "team no sleep." That math never mathed for me.

Quick side bar: This also isn't a Taurean-driven resistance based on the misguided perception that we are lazy. We get sh*t done too. We just try to maintain a pace that preserves our inner harmony, which feels right to us. With that in mind, I maneuver through my days quite consciously. And yet, I still had to ask myself: why is this happening?

Beyond the mental tug -of- war, the scaries can also show up physically, like headaches, insomnia, upset stomachs. Put that on repeat every week and the playlist + mood is set...for chronic stress.

No wonder our nervous systems are jacked. It's simply not normal. We are meant to be human beings, not perpetually busy human doings. I believe we've lost touch with stillness and presence, and our bodies response is confirmation.

So, what are the Sunday Scaries telling us? We need change yall. And that change will look different for each of us.

One thing that's helped me contextualize this, is writing down what I'm feeling. Visualize and name the thing. Seeing things written and then crossing them off can sometimes relieve mental stress, as it transfers the burden from your mind to paper.

Also, we tend to wrap our identity around our emotions: I am anxious, I am overwhelmed. A life hack I've found useful is learning to separate myself from the feeling. Michelle Obama once said "Feelings aren't facts," and they certainly aren't stamped definitions of who we are. Try "I am feeling anxious," vs "I am anxious" or "I am feeling overwhelmed" vs "I am overwhelmed. " You are not your moments, even when they feel constant.

Sunday scaries aren't weakness, they are data. Data is power. Time to download; what are your fears trying to tell you?

These feelings also aren't exclusively tied to work. Sundays tend to mirror back our state of mind as we anticipate the start of a new week. The new week is when your routine is in full swing, whether that involves a 9-5 or not. Sometimes its feeling like you'll never conquer your to do list. Sometimes it's a stay-at-home mom whose partner returns to work, leaving her fully responsible for childcare. It might be an overwhelming after-school routine -homework, sports schedules, dinner repeat. Perhaps, you're unemployed, and Sunday reminds you that you're not where you want to be. Or maybe it is work, a job you've outgrown.

In the realm of misalignment, it might be a relationship you're shrinking in. A version of yourself you are ready to leave behind. A life that looks good but feels wrong. Whatever the case, take inventory.

Cognitive overload, misalignment, burnout, suppressed needs, unlived desires...these are all calls for change. And not everything is a productivity problem where better habits like 5am wake ups are the cure. Sometimes it's braver decisions that need to be made.

So maybe the real question isn't whether Sundays are scaring us, but whether they're simply telling the truth.

With honesty (even on Sundays),

~Ash